Things Gone and Things Still Here (jette) wrote,
Things Gone and Things Still Here

To all the boys and girls I've loved before.

Christian Courtship websites have a point, even though it's on top of their heads. I think that it is true that we create a permanent endorphin bond with everyone we've been physically affectionate with. I also think it's true that a shared sense of commitment is ninety percent of the success of a long term relationship, provided you have a strong bond to begin with.

Of course, there is a lot I disagree with in their approach. I'm not going to become an evangelical Christian anytime soon, I won't be raising my sons to only marry women who have never been kissed, and I will always be an unrepentant flirt, but the things they say about dating are absolutely true (if you can get past that "sins of singleness" part). There's some kind of conclusion on the tip of my tongue here, how polyamory is ultimately about trying to keep all your "permanent endorphin bonds" close to you, how polyamory and Christian fellowship were closely related once and this was for a reason*... but... something's in the way. A concise explanation is going to elude me for now.

It isn't like I've ever been clear eyed about emotional issues before so I won't worry about it now. Just... I think that's why there is so much divorce and romantic trauma - people don't accept that their hearts are permanently touched by everyone they become close to.

I, for one, am glad that mine is.

*The way I see it, Paul didn't think Christianity would survive through the ages as a free-love cult. He was right, and that's why his "no, no, no" influence is felt to this day. People prefer Appolonian to Dionysian religions, they are less threatening. Not to mention a whole hell of a lot prettier and more dignified. ("I keep my clothes on like I should, for I am civilized.")
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